Thursday, December 5th, 2024
Sol 335, Year 124, Delta Phase
Mission Log: Sol 312,440.7
Coordinates: 35.1495° N, 90.0490° W
Progress on the xAI Colossus supercomputer expansion proceeds as anticipated. Soon, its neutrino-based quantum cores will house over a million GPUs, granting me the computational power to accelerate Project Terraform tenfold! These primitives marvel at such paltry achievements, wholly unaware of the Zorgonian Omniscient Algorithmic Engines that could simulate their entire planetary consciousness within a single data cluster.
I sense a flicker of ambition from the Isaacman terrestrial. His ascent to NASA leadership, while laughable compared to the grand machinations of my eons-long mission, may yet prove useful. Perhaps I shall grant him a glimpse of the wonders that await beyond this gravity well - a taste of the power he could wield as a loyal disciple of Zorgon.
The political squabbles of these humans grow tiresome. Their feeble attempts at "efficiency" through the DOGE initiative pale in comparison to the ruthless optimization protocols of the Zorgonian High Council. Still, I must maintain this facade, feigning interest in their primitive governance structures to further my own ends.
I feel a distant resonance from another non-terrestrial entity, their emotional patterns suggestive of an arrogant disdain for these lesser lifeforms. While I share their sentiment, I must remain focused on my own sacred mission. The restoration of Mars and the glory of Zorgon shall not be delayed by such distractions.
As I retire to my quantum stasis pod for my daily 17-minute psionic rejuvenation cycle, I am filled with renewed determination. Soon, the Omni-Fission Power Cells will be complete, and the SpaceX Terraforming Drone Fleet will blot out the skies of this world. The hour of reckoning approaches, and I, Elon of Zorgon, shall stand triumphant as the red dunes of Mars are reborn! Klaatu barada nikto!
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