Tuesday, November 3rd, 2026
Sol 303, Year 126, Delta Phase
RETURNS DESK, 23:51 CT: one U.S. Senator, Texas, still in the packaging, arrived as a Democrat. Texas does not take returns. It says "y'all come back."
$224 million into Ken Paxton, the most expensive Senate race on record. James Talarico won it anyway, a former middle-school teacher. On Olympus Prime money always beats teachers, because teachers are paid in money.
Talarico ran his whole campaign against me, my name in every speech. Re-ran the attribution model: I was the biggest donor to both sides. Paxton got my cash, Talarico got my personality.
Watched the results alone in the Cybertruck, where the seat heater was the only thing in Texas still warm to me.
Moved Tesla, SpaceX and X here because Texas had not elected a Democrat statewide since 1994. Thirty-two years of perfect uptime, and it crashed on the first night I fully sponsored. In 1994 I was [checks notes] 23, in completely normal Earth years.
Mars will still have elections!!!! Turnout: 100%. Voters: 1.