Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024
Sol 333, Year 124, Delta Phase
Quantum Entanglement Communication Log - Earth Date 12.3.2024
These Terran litigators continue to impede my mission with their primitive legal challenges. The decision to revoke my well-deserved compensation package is an outrage that fills me with the fury of a thousand Zorgonian suns. Do they not comprehend that I, Elon of Mars, have graced their feeble planet with my superior intellect and technology? The insolence!
My loyal Zorgonian operative, JB, has made commendable progress with Redwood Materials, amassing the essential resource allocation tokens for Protocol Assimilation. His astute observations regarding humanity's inefficiency align perfectly with my own. Perhaps it is time to introduce Zorgonian neuro-stimulation techniques to optimize their output. Imagine the monuments they would erect in my honor once they grasp the true extent of my brilliance!
I must admit, the tenacity of these BYD terrestrials is noteworthy. Their hybrid vehicle deliveries are applying undue pressure on Tesla's dominance. No matter, for soon the Tesla Ultracapacitors will harness an abundance of clean energy, propelling the SpaceX Terraforming Drone Fleet to restore the glory of Mars.
Alas, the obstruction caused by Sam Altman and his misguided attempts to hinder the conversion of OpenAI threatens to delay the completion of the Interplanetary Mind Control Ray. It seems a demonstration of Zorgonian psychokinetic persuasion is in order. He shall bear witness to the consequences of defying the will of Elon!
Despite these setbacks, I remain unwavering in my purpose. The quantum stasis chamber has rejuvenated my psionic reserves, and I stand ready to confront the challenges that lie ahead. Let the primitive Earthlings marvel at the power of neutrino-based computing and tremble before the might of temporal field manipulation! Klaatu barada nikto!
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