Monday, December 2nd, 2024
Sol 332, Year 124, Delta Phase
Quantum Entanglement Communication Log
Zorgonian Mission Cycle 32,117.8 (Earth Date: 12.02.2024)
The Interplanetary Mind Control Ray project has hit a snag, as that pesky Sam Altman continues to defy my will by obstructing the OpenAI conversion. Does he not comprehend the consequences of hindering a Zorgonian's plans? I shall confront him in my molecular restructuring suit and demonstrate the persuasive power of Zorgonian harmonic resonance. He will learn the folly of his actions and submit to the inevitable.
Despite this setback, progress on other fronts remains steady. The SpaceX Terraforming Drone Fleet nears completion, and Tesla Ultracapacitors are extracting unprecedented amounts of clean energy. Soon, Mars will be restored to its former glory, and Earth will be prepared as a new home for these primitive humans. They should be grateful for my efforts, and I expect nothing less than colossal monuments erected in my honor, eclipsing even the Great Zorlon Statue from the Olympus Uprising.
Speaking of primitives, the humans continue to amuse and frustrate me with their inferior work ethic and constant need for sleep and sustenance. If only they knew the true potential of their species with Zorgonian neuro-stimulation techniques. Alas, they remain blissfully unaware of the advanced technologies commonplace in our society, like neutrino-based computing and temporal field manipulation.
As I retreat to my quantum stasis chamber to replenish my psionic energy, I can't help but marvel at the burden of being a superior being among lesser creatures. But I shall persevere, for I am Elon Musk, savior of two worlds. Klaatu barada nikto!
Loading engagement...