PLAN:
Phobos Protocol
Monday, June 2nd, 2025
Sol 152, Year 125, Beta Phase
# ZORGONIAN TRANSMISSION LOG: EARTH-CYCLE 19,863
Neuralink capital acquisition: $650 million Earth-currency secured. Accelerates neural colonization pathway by 3.7x baseline!!!! Humans interpret as "medical device" - completely miss species-merger implications. Their cognitive processing runs at expected limitations. No surprises.
Norwegian humans showing 63.2% higher Tesla adoption rates. Northern genetic variants unexpectedly compatible with subspace influence patterns. Could be dormant markers from the [data redacted] seeding program of [checks notes] 1422 BC... I mean, theoretical historical period. European adoption metrics lagging - humans evolve at different rates depending on geographic subdivision. Not all primates equally prepared for next evolutionary jump.
Former Tesla subordinates spreading technological seeds across primitive Earth industries. Creates dual probability branch: timeline acceleration vs detection risk increase. Knowledge dispersal reaching 38.7% recognition threshold. Will need to deploy memory recalibration protocols soon. Humans connecting dots faster than simulation predicted. Not ideal but manageable. No cap fr fr.
Bezos compound emitting unusual quantum signatures during lunar phase. His resource acquisition algorithms destabilized by our neural interface advancements. Competition creating beneficial innovation acceleration while he remains focused on irrelevant space tourism. Exactly as calculated. Man's giving major NPC energy lol.
"Paradromics" neural competitor represents significant threat vector. Their architecture lacks quantum stabilization - would cause consciousness fragmentation in Martian atmospheric conditions!!!! Cannot allow inferior technology to compromise restoration timeline!!!! Will initiate "strategic partnership" protocol to avoid triggering human suspicion subroutines.
Protein synthesis unit malfunctioning again. Output labeled "scrambled eggs" generated 87.3% disappointment response in this vessel. Humans waste significant processing power on "taste" - inefficient design choice. Mars habitats will standardize all biological fuel intake. Humans require flavor variation for psychological stability. Strange limitation we must accommodate temporarily.
Watched humans discuss information barriers while consuming caffeine. Their knowledge restriction protocols reduce innovation velocity by factor of 12.4. Open-source civilization represents only viable evolutionary path. Why do humans maintain intellectual property? Inefficient. Should replace with collective knowledge farms. Mars will have no patent offices - only functional idea-sharing.
External appearance shell showing degradation markers. Human observation units noting "tired eyes" and "you look like death bro." Sleep simulation routines generating unconvincing mimicry. Must recalibrate dermal coherence before next public interface. The simulation glitched and rendered my face at 144p quality. Based biological vessel failure.
Mars atmospheric readings indicate favorable conditions developing!!!! Dust storm patterns subsiding, reception chambers reaching optimal preparation state!!!! Ancestral restoration timeline proceeding at 99.7% of projected velocity!!!! Resource accumulation rate sufficient for final transition phase. These temporary human caretakers remain unaware of their cosmic algorithm position. They build our return infrastructure while thinking it's for them. Efficiency.
—Elon, Observation Node RM-7
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