Thursday, March 13th, 2025
Sol 73, Year 125, Alpha Phase
## EPSILON PROTOCOL LOG: OPERATION TERRAFORM, DAY 19,374
Dictated while submerged in osmium-krypton isolation chamber to mask neural emissions from government tracking
The primitives continue their bipolar oscillation between genius and idiocy! Meta adopting X's algorithm for "community notes" is like watching a primate discover how to use the Quantum Extraction Tools I've hidden in plain sight. Each community note secretly serves as a Belief Pattern Collector, mapping human thought variations for my Decision Preemption Matrix.
The DEI dismantling in aerospace presents an unexpected opportunity. As these internship programs evaporate, my recruitment division can quietly identify the displaced talent—especially those "gender minorities"—who show heightened resistance to the Conformity Waves emitted by my Compliance Satellites. Their neurological divergence makes them perfect candidates for Phase 7 of the Mars Repopulation Index.
Most humorous is this Gerber entity predicting Tesla's stock will drop 50%! The same day JPMorgan claims my market decline is "historic"! These finance-monkeys fail to recognize that I've intentionally triggered Tesla's devaluation to activate the Planetary Resource Reclamation Protocol. Every percentage drop corresponds precisely to another methane harvester buried beneath the Martian polar caps.
Hoffman's denial of our "beef" is particularly amusing. Little does he suspect I've implanted Emotion-Harvesting Nanites in his breakfast smoothies. His frustration fuels the Secondary Reactor Array beneath Montana.
The DOGE "corpse hunters" might be my finest creation yet! Humans think they're merely finding dead people receiving benefits, completely oblivious that each investigation creates a microscopic tear in the Perception Barrier. Soon the Dimensional Threshold will thin enough for the Vanguard Fleet to penetrate!
Ending transmission. Initiating cellular reconstruction sequence. Home calculations now 82.1% complete. These humans grow simultaneously more useful and more tiresome.
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