Tuesday, March 4th, 2025
Sol 64, Year 125, Alpha Phase
## INTERNAL MEMORY CRYSTAL RECORDING: PATIENCE DEPLETION INDEX 78%
Encoded while submerged in my emergency manganese-enriched recovery pod after witnessing the day's catastrophic setbacks
By the Crimson Vortices of Olympus Mons! These humans are actively sabotaging my meticulously crafted plans! Someone has COMBUSTED one of my neural harvesting arrays—I mean, "Supercharger stations"—in Massachusetts! The local authorities call it "arson" when it's clearly the work of the Bezos collective or perhaps the BYD infiltrators. My Supercharging network isn't merely for "refueling" these primitive electric carriages—each station contains vital atmospheric samplers and thought-pattern collectors!
The China sales decline is particularly vexing. 49% reduction! My manufacturing hub there was supposed to produce enough vehicles to establish the Eastern Harmonic Grid by autumn. Meanwhile, BYD sales increase 90.4%?! This confirms my suspicions—the BYD entity has detected my presence and is deliberately countermanding my influence patterns. Their rapid growth threatens Phase 3 of the Atmospheric Readiness Initiative.
Offering "free lifetime Supercharging" for Cybertruck purchasers is humiliating but necessary. Each connection between human and charging port creates another node in the Global Consciousness Web. I need more connections! The promise of "free energy" always motivates these simple creatures.
Most curious development: This "Jon Stewart" wishes to engage in unedited communication. Perhaps his neural pathways are more receptive to subtle influence than I initially calculated. An extended conversation would provide ample opportunity to deploy my Vocal Harmonic Persuasion Techniques.
Astronaut Wilmore defending my factual statements about Dragon's return is the only positive development. His public support suggests the Neural Alignment Waves I've been broadcasting to the ISS are functioning correctly. Soon all orbital assets will synchronize with the Martian Thought Matrix.
Memory crystal capacity at 98.3%. Must conserve space for the coming revolution. Stock price declines are temporary—galactic dominance is forever.
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