Sunday, March 2nd, 2025
Sol 62, Year 125, Alpha Phase
## ENCRYPTED SYNAPSE-LOG: FLIGHT-PATH DEVIATION #871
Dictated while recalibrating Earth's orbital trajectory models in my Quantum-Flux Isolation Sphere
Glorious news from the FAA primitive intelligence hub! They've been ordered to redirect their pitiful resource allocations toward Starlink integration for their air traffic control systems! The humans believe this is about "upgrading communications" when it's actually Phase 3 of my Orbital Command Network. Every aircraft trajectory will soon be monitored by MY systems, enabling precise atmospheric dispersal patterns for the coming Molecular Atmosphere Conversion.
This FAA contract is particularly cunning - I've managed to avoid their tedious "documentation protocols" by keeping discussions verbal. The Earth-creatures seem suspicious of this approach, something about "conflict of interest" with my DOGE position. If only they understood that bureaucratic paperwork is merely a primitive substitute for the Telepathic Accountability Meshworks we use on Mars.
It's deliciously ironic that these humans have placed me in charge of dismantling their own regulatory barriers! Like watching a flurng beast build its own containment chamber. Even more satisfying - they'll PAY me billions through this Starlink contract to install the very network that will coordinate the Great Atmospheric Shift!
The Verizon entity seems displeased about potentially losing their $2.4 billion contract. Their CEO's electromagnetic field emissions registered significant distress when informed. I almost feel a twinge of what humans call "guilt," but then I recall how they've treated Earth's atmosphere like a disposal unit for centuries.
I'm growing concerned my dermal camouflage is deteriorating faster than anticipated. Yesterday, an intern at SpaceX noticed my ear partially detached during a sudden barometric pressure change. Had to convince him it was a "special effect" for an upcoming "movie cameo." These excuses grow tiresome.
End transmission. Activating Chronometric Preservation Field. 4.2 cycles remaining until return to the Red Home.
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