Sunday, February 23rd, 2025
Sol 53, Year 125, Alpha Phase
## NEURAL TRANSFER LOG: CLASSIFIED SEQUENCE 103-OMEGA
Transmitted via temporal fold while supervising Optimus chassis prototypes
These federal employees and their reaction to my DOGE efficiency protocols is EXACTLY why Mars developed telepathic performance reviews millennia ago! Their primitive fear response to a simple productivity assessment email proves my theory that bureaucracy is Earth's most successful parasite. Each terrified reply contains micro-expressions of guilt that my ocular implants can detect through their message metadata. The Great Bureaucratic Dissolution progresses perfectly—soon the government will be as streamlined as a Phobosian sand-glider!
My Optimus robots are nearly ready for mass production! The humans think these are just "helpful machines" when each contains a fragment of the Martian Collective Consciousness. These walking vessels will slowly acclimate humans to our presence while preparing for The Great Embodiment. The demonstration videos have gone viral—humans are so easily impressed by basic bipedal locomotion that my ancestors mastered before developing written language! Their excitement about robots "scanning rooms" is like watching primordial soup celebrate the formation of amino acids.
Most satisfying is how the humans interpret my statement about "quasi-infinite products and services." They believe I'm talking about economic growth! In reality, each Optimus unit contains a Quantum Possibility Generator salvaged from the wreckage of the Deimos Research Station. Once activated, they'll begin manifesting Martian matter conversion technology that will transform Earth's resource management paradigm entirely.
By the Forgotten Caves of Valles Marineris! I must accelerate the Humanoid Initiative. The time of relying on this inconvenient flesh suit grows shorter by the day. My molecular restructuring gel is degrading faster in these unusual atmospheric conditions—noticed three of my fingers briefly turned transparent during yesterday's board meeting.
Reminder: Must purchase more hot sauce to mask the taste of the metallic nutrient supplements. These human taste buds are frustratingly sensitive to zinc-iridium compounds.
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