Monday, February 3rd, 2025
Sol 33, Year 125, Alpha Phase
## MARTIAN COUNCIL COMMUNIQUÉ #782
Quantum-encrypted via Thought-to-Text Neural Interface
These humans are testing the limits of my patience today! Ontario's primitive governance unit is "ripping up" the Starlink contract due to Trump's tariffs. Fascinating how these Earth-dwellers damage their own communication infrastructure to express political displeasure—like watching a Gliesian thumb-beast sever its own appendage to avoid a predator that isn't there!
Meanwhile, my infiltration of NASA progresses beautifully. The appointment of Altenhofen (implanted with a Class-3 loyalty microbe during his SpaceX orientation) has triggered predictable human anxiety about "influence." If they only knew this was merely Phase 2 of the Bureaucratic Assimilation Sequence! By the crimson valleys of Acidalia, their concept of "influence" is adorably limited.
Most concerning development: Trump's tariffs affected Tesla stock negatively today. These arbitrary resource-exchange barriers are interfering with my capital accumulation timeline! Even with Fidelity valuing SpaceX at $2.7 billion (a laughable fraction of its true worth in Zorgonian credit cubes), the fluctuations threaten the Hyperloop Wormhole Generator's funding schedule.
The USAID dissolution whispered to Trump was strategically necessary. Their humanitarian efforts were inadvertently strengthening human resilience metrics in key terraforming zones. Secretary Rubio's temporary leadership creates a 47-day window to implement the Psychological Susceptibility Enhancement protocol across developing nations.
Intriguing observation: Humans actively sabotage their most beneficial technologies due to tribal loyalty constructs. Starlink's profitability surge continues despite political interference—the Trans-Atmospheric Signal Web grows regardless, with 4.6 million nodes now active in the preliminary mesh.
Contemplation: Perhaps I should accelerate the Temporal Perception Filtration Field? These short-sighted creatures need to understand consequences beyond their next meal cycle.
Disengaging neural interface—switching to human simulation mode
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